Pokes and Prods

Throughout this journey I have been pricked with more needles that I care to count, as well as (how can I put this lightly...) opened my legs and lady parts for at least a dozen doctors, nurses, and even a few medical students. This post is a raw and open sharing of some of the procedures I have endured in the past two years in order to get to where I am now, finally starting fertility treatments (which as you might guess, also includes more needle pricks and shall we say "intimate" meetings with doctors).

Initially when we started working with a fertility clinic back in late 2018, I assumed we'd tell the doctor our history of miscarriage and TTC for over a year and then "poof" we'd be well on our way to a quick little IVF procedure. HAHA, I was so naive back then! The doctor requested a full work up of tests and procedures to determine if there was something specific causing our infertility, before we could even consider fertility options. And many of these tests require that you take them on a specific day in your menstrual cycle. So, if you meet with the doctor on cycle day 10, but they want you to take a blood test on cycle day 3, then you get to wait a WHOLE month to even take that test. *For reference menstrual cycle day 1 is the first day you start bleeding. For those who are TTC tracking your cycle is very important, as you are most likely to get pregnant between days 12-20. Most women's cycles are between 28-35 days.*

Blood tests - I have had more blood tests than I can keep track of. I have sat at the medical lab as the phlebotomist types in their computer ALL the tests the fertility doctor has requested. Specific tests with acronyms I have had to look up, like AMH, FSH, LH, estradiol, progesterone, etc. I've had tests for HIV, rubella, red blood antibodies, thyroid, on and on. I remember sitting at the lab once as the phlebotomist finally got all the tests ordered up, then she gathered up all the little vials with different colored lids and told me "This is going to take a while." And me just sitting there for 10 minutes with a little needle in my arm as she filled one little vial after the next. 

Then there was the Saline Infusion Sonohysterography (SIS), which I have had the pleasure of doing twice. This is where the doctor uses a catheter to insert a small amount of saline solution into the uterus. This expands the uterus so that an vaginal ultrasound can take images of your uterus lining to check for bumps or cysts. Yes, it is as unpleasant as it sounds...oh and can only be done between days 6-12 of the menstrual cycle, because it needs to be done before you potentially ovulate. 

Similar to the SIS, I've also had a Hysterosalpingography (HSG), which is a procedure in which a colored dye is inserted into the uterine cavity and then an xray is used to track if the dye flows freely between the fallopian tubes. This checks if there is any blockage in the tubes, which might prevent sperm from reaching the matured egg follicles. Also a procedure that needs to be done between cycle days 6-12. 

*Not my HSG, just one I googled!

Oh, and to rub a little salt into the wound, you are required to take a pregnancy test before these procedures. Even though you just finished your period, which is literally your body telling you, NOPE YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT! But they do this because if you happen to be in very early pregnancy the procedures will cause miscarriage.

In addition to these tests, every time I go to the fertility doctor now I have the pleasure of getting a vaginal ultrasound. No, not the pleasant little belly rub ultrasounds that you get during pregnancy. Nope, you get to strip off your bottoms and let the doctor stick a long probe inside your vagina while your legs are hoisted up in stirrups. 

Infertility is not pleasant. I'm sorry if I offended you in any way being this open about my body, but I'm trying to shake the taboo-ness out of the subject. I want to be raw and open in this blog and that means I'm going to have to talk about my lady bits. Giving you a glimpse of what this journey is like from my perspective. I remember the first time I went to a gynecologist in my early 20s, I specifically asked for a female doctor, concerned that a weird man was going to be "in my business," but now I've had doctors of all ages and genders and I'm just immune to it. I just want to have a healthy baby, and if that means I'm going to have to let a few random doctors "get intimate" than that's what I have to do. 

And in case your wondering, none of the tests have come back too concerning, thus the diagnosis "Unexplained Infertility." My fallopian tubes are fine, my uterine lining is clear and smooth, and my blood tests are within the normal ranges. With the slight exception that my FSH levels are a bit high for my age, which basically means I have less eggs than a normal 32 year old should have. This does not necessary explain why we are having difficulty, but is just something my doctors want to watch as my egg supply could run out earlier than most women. 

Mainly I chose to post about these experiences not so you could feel sorry for me, but just to give you a little perspective into the infertility journey. This is not something that I chose, or something that I can control, infertility is a disease. And like any disease it requires medical attention and testing in order for the doctor to properly treat the disease. Since fertility is something that most women come by naturally, infertility often seems shrouded in shame and mystery, and I don't want it to be like that anymore. I wish I had someone in my life who could have warned me about the trials of infertility before I was in the midst of it. I googled and devoured blogs like this one to help me along the way, which is part of why I want to document this journey. If you are also experiencing infertility (even secondary infertility), you are not alone!

*Click on the picture to enlarge and read the info-graph from THIS website.

Lots of Love,

Em